The eyelash glue tube unexpectedly exploding all over my fringe and me having to cut my fringe to get it out and therefore looking like Richard III.
(This makes everyone scream, not just me, and that is le fact.)
Oh go on then I will, but only because I like you. Ermm......I'm very fond of irresponsibly short skirts and long boots. In private moments I wear, and I am not ashamed
to say it (well not very), fluffy mules and cocktail trousers.
For crying uncontrollably I like Gone with the Wind. Just when you think you can't possibly cry any more Scarlett's mum dies quickly followed by a horrific
riding accident when her child dies as well. (The only cheerful note here is that the child is wearing a ludicrous velvet riding outfit and jumping sidesaddle,
which quite frankly is asking for death vis-a-vis safe horseriding).
Oh, shoes. But of course bags are necessary for the shoes. As I can't stand up in very high shoes, (let alone walk in them) but I luuurve them very much when I go out I have
to scamper along in flip flops till I get to where I am going and then get my bag out with the vair high shoes in and crouch down in doorways putting them on. And then lurch
around about two feet from a wall which I can brace myself against for the rest of the evening. Why oh why are there no comfy little street stools so we could just sit
down like civilised people do the whole world over to change into our party shoes? No one asks Gordon Brown about that do they?
Sadly, yes I do. You would think by now when my brain goes on a holiday to Stupidland I would just keep my mouth shut about wearing false beards or wearing fluffy mules
at home or my eyelash glue exploding in my fringe and looking like Richard III...hang on a minute...